


It's never simple

by reylotrash711



Series: reylotrash711's music fics [2]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, F/M, First Time, Fluff and Smut, Hurt/Comfort, Loss of Virginity, Love, No Pregnancy, Original Character(s), Reylo - Freeform, Sharing a Bed, Smut, injuries, mild jealousy, slowish burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-21
Updated: 2020-07-22
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:34:09
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 21,302
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24840001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reylotrash711/pseuds/reylotrash711
Summary: In the months after Crait, Rey and Ben have rarely spoken to each other, even with the precious moments over the bond. But after a chance encounter where Ben saves Rey's life, the pair find themselves together again, in a galaxy where people either want them dead or to kill each other. Will this pair ever find away to be together? These things are never simple...
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Kylo Ren
Series: reylotrash711's music fics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1796797
Comments: 42
Kudos: 111
Collections: Reylo Jukebox Exchange





	1. meeting again

**Author's Note:**

  * For [theresonatinglight](https://archiveofourown.org/users/theresonatinglight/gifts).



> Written for the Reylo Jukebox AU inspired by Breathe by Taylor Swift for theresonatinglight hope you enjoy!
> 
> [Listen to the Spotify Playlist here!](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/3DC28wxTrgqXWvqyQQDJyu?si=h-CHY5O5SQa1hSC7WHLlmA)
> 
> Thank you to Cecilia for beta reading this fic, you helped me a lot with this fic and I can’t thank you enough!  
> You can check out her [AO3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ceciliasheplin/works) to read her amazing stories

_ And I can't, _

_ Breathe, _

_ Without you, _

_ But I have to, _

_ Breathe, _

_ Without you, _

_ But I have to _

\---

“Shit.” Rey groaned as she stumbled onto the ship, hand pressed against her side where her shirt was slowly turning a deadly shade of crimson. She knew their contact must have been shady, the information they had promised without a price had been too good to be true. It was luck and a sneaky use of the force that had even gotten her the drive, the price being the stab in the torso one of the contact’s guards had gifted her. She slammed the door shut, moving as quickly as she could in her weakened condition to the cockpit. 

Making her way to the console, she plugged in the drive before typing as quickly as she could to send it to the Resistance. The information was vital, the mission came first. She could deal with her problem later. 

As she watched the percentage go up, she felt her head begin to spin. Her vision was bleary as she tried her best to focus on the send button. The pain in her side was overwhelming, she started to panic. Looking down at her hand, she saw the horror that it was, covered in her own blood. 

She felt dizzy, struggling to keep her eyes open as she sank down to her knees, clutching the edge of the console. Her eyes scanned the screen as the confirmation beep filled the cockpit. Taking a deep breath and using her remaining strength, Rey reached forward and slammed her finger onto the send button before she felt herself falling to the floor as everything went dark. 

\---

When he received news of Resistance activity on Coruscant, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren had pushed the thought aside. The Resistance was no longer a threat, their numbers were too small and their army was pitiful. Hux was, of course, obsessed with trying to find them and burn them to the ground. Kylo failed to see the point when there were far more pressing matters. The galaxy was corrupted, the New Republic had failed just as the Empire and Old Republic had. They needed a new system, to let the past die and restore the everything to its rightful state. He had all the power in the galaxy, the First Order was tied around his finger and he could do anything he wanted, create laws and shape the galaxy into what he believed was right. But how could it be enough if there was no one to rule alongside him? 

He was going to simply order a battalion of stormtroopers to be sent down to the surface to deal with the issue until the officer mentioned a small detail. “We have reason to believe that it was the Jedi girl who met with the contact.” 

Rey. Memories of a throne room flashed before him. Of fire and red walls, Snoke’s body torn in two and Rey’s tearful expression as he pleaded with her. And she had turned away, fought him for his grandfather’s weapon. He felt his blood boil at the memory.

It made him furious, how dare she show up now? After everything he had done to forget her, now she decided was the best moment to come waltzing back into his life. Kylo Ren got to his feet, raging as he slammed his fist on his desk as he barked out an order, “Prepare my TIE-Fighter.” 

The petrified officer had scrambled for his commlink, informing the hangar bay that the Supreme Leader was on his way. Clipping his lightsaber to his belt and leaving his new helmet on his desk, he wanted Rey to see his face when he took his revenge. After everything she had done to him, after all the lies, she deserved this. Kylo Ren stormed down the corridors of the flagship, his heavy boots slamming against the durasteel floor and his dark cape flowing along behind him. Stormtroopers and officers backed away, he could feel how they recoiled, scared at the sight of him. If he wasn’t so angry, maybe he would have smirked at their cowardness. As he entered the hangar bay, he had walked straight to his fighter, ordering that he should not be followed unless he gave the order. This was his fight. 

The trip to Coruscant had been short, the flagship hadn’t been far from the inner-rim planet. And with Kylo’s determination to reach the planet before Rey had the chance to escape, there was nothing that could get in his way. He would not let her get away this time. This time, she would either join him, or meet the same fate as the Jedi who had come before her. In the back of his mind, a voice whispered to him,  _ Ben?  _ He ignored it, he had to focus.

For months she had been plaguing his mind, the constant ‘what ifs’ wouldn’t give him a moment of peace. What if she hadn’t left him? What if he had run after her? It made him angry. Even after everything they had been through, he had opened up to her, allowed himself to be vulnerable and in return, she had abandoned him, left him for dead in that throne room. All to run off to the Resistance. 

His lightsaber was ready on his belt, he was going to end this once and for all. Destroy the last Jedi so he could move on with his life. Despite his fury, the thought did leave him with a slightly melancholy feeling which he promptly brushed aside. Nothing could get in his way, he  _ must  _ snuff out the light once and for all. 

Only, the closer he got to the planet, the more conflicted he became. He swallowed awkwardly as he entered the planet’s atmosphere and was greeted by the familiar skyscrapers. Taking a deep breath, he summoned his strength, his anger. The darkside would guide him, would show him the right path. 

When he reached the lower levels of the city, he felt her presence almost immediately. Setting his TIE on a landing pad, he mind-tricked the owner into the re-fueling before taking off into the public hanger. With his lightsaber firmly in his hand, he stormed through, her force signature guiding his steps.

As he drew closer to her location, he could feel something strange within the force. Something wasn’t right, her signature felt fainter than usual, weaker. It made his heart jump traitorously in his chest. She was hurt. Shaking his head, he told himself he didn’t care, that it would make it easier to kill her. The word ‘kill’ made his knees weak. But he had been trained for violence, the darkside was in his nature. Destroying the Jedi, he would finally be fulfilling what his grandfather had started.

And when he reached her ship, a standard Resistance cargo ship, he was more uncertain than ever. He stood at the bottom of the ramp, she was right inside, he wondered why she hadn’t come out to face him. Surely she could sense his presence; it was intoxicating the way hers was surrounding him. 

Igniting his blade, he walked up the ramp, taking slow steps until he reached the top. The ship was deathly quiet. It made him feel uneasy, she was definitely here. He could feel her like a blinding light in the dark room. Only… that light was slowly fading. 

She was in the cockpit. Taking a deep breath and holding out his blade, he entered it. There was no one in the seats, at first he presumed it was empty. Until he looked down. 

As soon as he saw her, he dropped his saber, the blade distinguishing as it hit the floor. He looked down at her unconscious form, blood trickling from her side and onto the floor. Kylo felt his knees buckle as he slipped, leaning against the doorframe as a wave of her pain and what he could only describe as grief washed over him. 

His voice was hoarse and broken as he spoke, “Rey?”

\---

She woke with a start, her eyes flying open as she was met with a dark ceiling. Beneath her, she felt soft sheets, a pillow far more comfortable than the Resistance issue ones she was used to and a warm blanket over her body. It felt safe, warm and comforting. But different. She was certainly not in her Resistance bunk or the hammock in her fallen AT-AT. Her hand moved to her head, maybe she was dreaming. She reached down and pinched her arm, she was definitely awake. Her mind was racing with countless theories as to how she had ended up in such an unfamiliar place with no recollection of how she had gotten there. Maybe she had been kidnapped. But if she had been, surely she would be in a cell not a comfortable bed such as this. 

Her eyes scanned her surroundings. She was in a large king-sized bed, in quarters fit for royalty. It was the nicest room she had ever been in. Someone powerful lived here, someone rich. Her mind was hazy and she felt a throbbing in her side, her thoughts were unclear and she couldn’t decipher what was going on. Rey sat up abruptly, hissing in pain, her hand moving to clutch at her side. She remembered being stabbed now. The knife piercing her side as she tried to run. The cockpit, her determination to complete her mission, before the world had gone dark. Had she died? No. Surely she would have remembered if she did. The pain in her side was unbearable, she let out another gasp as she pressed her hand against the wound.

“Take it easy.” she felt a hand on her shoulder. It was firm but comforting, and strangely familiar. 

Darting around, she came face to face with the man she had sworn she would forget. Ben Solo. Rey’s heart skipped a beat, after all these months, here he was. He was right before her eyes, he was real. “Ben?” she whispered. She briefly considered that he may be here to harm her, but surely he would have done it when she was asleep.

He looked at her, a solemn expression painting his face as his eyes met her own, “I’ll get the bandages.” he said, getting to his feet and moving to a small dresser opposite the bed. His response was abrupt, catching her off guard. He had always been so cold to her when the bond had connected them after Crait. She could feel his nervousness through the force, it floated around him like a stormcloud as his trembling hands opened a medkit. 

Rey watched in confusion. When he returned to the bed with the medkit, he took a seat next to her before he met her gaze, “I need to change your dressings.” he said awkwardly. 

Rey tensed, the idea that he had already done so when she was asleep sent a shiver down her spine. “It was a droid.” Ben said suddenly, “A med-droid patched you up but if you would allow me to, I need to change your bandages.”

She reached out with the force, searching for any malicious intentions on his side. To her surprise, she found none, just something that felt suspiciously like compassion. So she nodded slowly, pulling back the covers and gently sitting up. To her relief, she was almost fully dressed, the only thing missing were her wraps that usually crossed over her tunic, leaving it loose around her wound. 

Rey sat completely still, her eyes fixated on Ben as he slowly unwound the bandages. When he looked up she saw uncertainty in his eyes, “C-could you hold up your tunic?” he asked, stuttering slightly as he spoke. Rey nodded and obliged, bunching up her tunic to reveal the old bandages wrapped around her torso. 

He hesitantly reached forward, his hand finding where the med-droid had tied the bandages. Slowly, he undid it, his hands gentle as they brushed against her bare torso. Rey felt her heart skip a beat as his large hands spanned across her waist, gently unwrapping the bandages until her bloody wound was revealed. 

Placing the old bandages to the side, Ben took the new ones and slowly began to wrap them around her wound, taking his time as his eyes focused on the task at hand, pointedly avoiding the way her chest was heaving with her deep, nervous breathing. He was extremely gentle, being careful whenever his fingers brushed against her wound. As he moved to tighten it, Rey let out a hiss of pain. “Sorry.” Ben said quietly, tying the bandage before gesturing for her to pull her shirt back down. 

He placed the sheets back over her before packing up the medkit. “Ben? What’s going on?” Rey asked as he got to his feet. 

“You should get some sleep.” was his response. Rey looked up at him, he looked exhausted. His eyes were dark, his hair a mess. Rey wondered if he had as much trouble sleeping as she did. 

“What about you?” she found herself asking. 

Ben sighed, “I’ll be outside.” he said firmly. He left the room, closing the door without looking back at her. She was left sitting up in what was no doubt his bed, more confused than ever. A thousand questions raced through her mind. He had found her, he had rescued her. She had been certain that he hated her.

Rey lay down on the too-soft bed, staring up at the ceiling. Their exchange had been so gentle, so caring. He told her to rest, but there was no way she would be getting any sleep... 

\---

Ben was pacing back and forth in the living area of his quarters. His hands tugged at his hair as he contemplated what he was going to do. The Last Jedi was in his bed and he hadn’t tried to kill her yet. Up until this point, he had been certain of everything. Ever since he stepped inside that cockpit and found Rey, the decisions he had made had been easy. 

He had panicked, as he ran through the hanger and back to his TIE-Fighter. With her curled in his lap, he had moved faster than he ever had before in his fighter, travelling to his flagship as quickly as he could to seek medical help. Through the force, he could feel her fading and it terrified him. 

When he arrived in the hangar, he had carried her from his ship, storming down the corridors until he reached his quarters where he lay her down on his bed and summoned a droid. He didn’t trust the First Order medics to take care of her, to touch or heal her. As he watched the droid apply bacta to her deadly wound, he swore he would kill whoever hurt her with his bare hands. 

It was a strange turn of events, these sudden but very present feelings he was experiencing for his enemy. He had been certain, prepared to eliminate the light for good, until he had seen her, his fear of losing her fueled his actions. He had been so afraid that he was too late, that he had lost her. The image of her chest slowly rising and falling, the gentle beat of her heart beneath his fingertips and managed to keep many of his fears at bay. 

She had been unconscious for twelve hours. Twelve fearful and stressful hours until she finally opened her eyes and stared at him, puzzled but also in awe. She seemed to be just as taken aback by his actions as he was. 

And now she was right behind a door, sitting in his bed. Ben sat down on the sofa, leaning on his knees as he racked his brain for a plan. If Hux (or any member of leadership for that matter) found out he had saved her instead of killing her or throwing her in a cell, there would be trouble. He couldn’t let them get to her. As soon as she was fit enough, he needed to get her off the flagship and to somewhere safe where she could regroup with the Resistance. 

It would involve sneaking her into the hanger and onto a ship. He had no doubt that a number of stormtroopers, officers and generals had seen him panicking as he carried her through the corridors, people were already going to be suspicious. He had received several messages from Hux, demanding to know what was going on. Ben had responded with the same thing each time, “The prisoner will remain in my quarters until further notice.” After the fifth time, however, he began to ignore his blinking commlink and locked the door to his quarters. He needed the time to think. 

As soon as he stepped out of his quarters, he was putting Rey at risk, it would take meticulous planning and probably his lightsaber to get Rey out safely. 

It had only been half an hour since he left her when Rey poked her head around his bedroom door. When she stepped into the room, she stood awkwardly, fidgeting with the hem of her shirt. He stood abruptly, taking a few steps forward so he was opposite her. They stood in tense silence, both unsure of what to say.

“Rey-”

“Ben-”

Rey let out a nervous and awkward laugh before Ben gestured for her to continue. Rey hesitantly took another step forward, wincing slightly as her hand moved to rest on her side. “Take a seat, I’ll get you some painkillers,” he said, moving aside so she could sit down. 

“Thank you.” Rey mumbled as she sat down. 

Ben went straight to the fresher, taking a pack of painkillers and filling a glass with water from the faucet. When he walked back into the living area, Rey was looking around the room with interest, her eyes looking over the bookshelf and desk. “Here.” he said, handing her the pill and the glass of water. She took it with a shy smile, swallowing the pill and throwing back the water. 

He stood in front of her, waiting as she placed her glass down before turning back to him, nervously biting her lip. Taking a deep breath, she looked up to meet his gaze, “Thank you.” she repeated, “For saving my life.”

Ben shrugged, “You would’ve done the same.” In the back of his mind, a voice whispered,  _ she was an enemy, she was more likely to have left him for dead. _

Rey nodded slowly looking down at her feet as she continued, “I don’t think I want to know how you found me, I know you have probably already sent your fleet after the Resistance.” she said cooly.

Ben found himself jumping to defend himself immediately, “No.” he said firmly, “I came and found you by myself, you have been under my personal supervision since we arrived. Whether or not the First Order has tracked back to the Resistance, I have no idea, there were more pressing matters on my mind.”

Rey looked up at him, scoffing slightly, “Aren’t you meant to be their leader? Surely you have better things to do than look after a prisoner in your personal living quarters.” there was a hint of spite in her tone, through the force he could feel her contempt for what he was, who Kylo Ren was.

“You’re welcome then, for saving your life and allowing you to rest in my quarters.” he said, taking a seat in front of her and crossing his arms over his chest, “I could have killed you, if I had known how ungrateful you would be, maybe I would have reconsidered it.” 

Rey rolled her eyes, “Stop blowing things out of proportion, I was just suggesting that you actually do your job properly.” 

“It’s not your place to make such suggestions, you made your choice in the Throne Room to run away.” he said, anger rising within him. She had no right to boss him around or even offer him advice, she had left him for dead when they could have ruled the galaxy side by side. 

“I wasn’t running away.” Rey said through gritted teeth. 

“Then what were you doing, Rey?”

“Saving the people I love!” 

Ben felt the cold stab of jealousy. The people she loved and cared about were those traitors and rebels she called friends. It would be foolish to think she could harbour any similar feelings other than hatred for him. 

“I don’t hate you.” Rey said slowly.

Ben glared at her, “Get out of my head.” he snapped. 

“Stop thinking so loudly!” Rey retorted, mirroring his icy glare. 

Ben let out a tired sigh and got to his feet. “I can’t do this now.” he muttered, rising to his feet and moving to retrieve his cloak and helmet. 

“Where are you going?” Rey demanded. 

“To do as you said,” Ben replied, placing the helmet over his head, “To be a leader.” His voice was mechanical and dark, he noticed how it made her tremble slightly as she looked at him with as much fury as she could manage despite the tiny waves of fear that floated across the bond. 

“Are you going to kill me?” she asked as he reached the door. 

Ben paused, his hand hovering over the keypad next to the handle. “Don’t try and escape, some members of the First Order aren’t as forgiving as I am.” unlocking the door, he stormed out of the room, slamming the door shut and locking it behind him.


	2. discussions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “He won’t hurt me.” Rey said firmly. “He is angry but he has already had multiple opportunities to kill me. Unless there is a bigger plan, I believe I am safe for now.”   
> “This is a dangerous game, Rey.”   
> “And one I am strong enough to play, General.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 2 is here! I plan on updating this fic every other day alongside my other WIP If I never knew you. I hope you enjoy this update 💜

Rey stood in her enemy’s quarters, listening as the lock clicked behind her captor. She glared at the closed door, gritting her teeth. Taking a look around the room, Rey contemplated breaking out, searching for either another exit or a way to break down the door, There was no way she was staying here, where there were most likely at least a couple of hundred people on the flagship who wanted to see her head on a spike. 

The painkillers had thankfully kicked in pretty quickly, meaning walking around the sleek quarters far more bearable despite her current predicament. The living quarters were incredibly dark and the decoration was scarce, it felt about as homely as a prison cell, which in many ways Rey supposed it was. 

The sofa she had been sitting on was a dark grey with a couple of cushions in the same colour, it was the most comfortable thing she had ever sat on. After his bed. The walls were a crimson colour with durasteel panels every few metres. There were four doors leading out of the room. She knew that one led to the bedroom she had just stepped out of and one presumably led outside judging by the way he had stormed out. She moved towards the first mysterious door and opened it. She was greeted by the fresher where he must have gotten the painkillers. Rey closed the door and moved to the next one where she opened it to see a spacious training room. Her eyes scanned across the weapons hanging on the walls, that would be a useful thing to remember but for now, she closed the door. 

Moving away from the door she continued her exploration in the living quarters. She moved her hand along the dark bookshelves, scanning the books for anything of interest. From what she could see, they were all non-fiction, containing information from everything ranging from spacecraft schematics to information regarding the darkside of the force. The tomes regarding the force were particularly old and worn, she presumed that he had no doubt recovered them from an ancient temple or library. Or maybe they had been a gift from Snoke. Curiosity got the better of her and she plucked one off the shelf, opening it to a random page. The language inside the book was ancient and she recognised very few of the characters and lettering used. She made a mental note to research ancient Sith languages when she got the chance before returning it to its place on the shelf.

Her hand ran along the dark wooden desk that was situated next to it. Her eyes scanned across the various papers scattered across it that included several legal documents and schematics. Amongst it, was a datapad. When her eyes fell upon the datapad, a plan bloomed in her head. Taking a seat on the sofa, she turned it on, maybe she could get a message to the Resistance and inform them of the… issue she had run into. 

When the datapad turned on, she was greeted by a screen asking for a password, “Kriff.” Rey muttered under her breath. What would the Supreme Leader have as his password for his personal datapad? 

Ren?

No, too obvious.

Solo?

Too painful.

Organa?

Too risky. 

Rey racked her head for an answer, typing several things in such as 1, 2, 3 and aurek, besh, cresh. Each time she was met with an error screen informing her that the password she had entered was incorrect. She slumped back on the sofa, typing in random combinations including “I h8 Jedi.” and “Vader iz cool.” With an exasperated sigh, she tossed it to the side, for all she knew it could be a riddle or name of his first girlfriend. Rey cringed at the last thought. The idea of Ben with other women made her feel an unwelcome pang of jealousy. 

She wondered if Ben had ever been in a relationship, she didn’t think being a Dark Lord left much time for dating. When she had been inside his head she hadn’t found anything that hinted that he was attached or held great feelings for an individual. She had no doubt that even if he did have someone special in his life, he would never mention it for the First Order wouldn’t exactly be kind to such a woman. And if he had never mentioned this woman’s name to anyone in the First Order… it would make the perfect password. 

Rey picked up the datapad again and stared at the keyboard, her fingers twitching to type in the three letters. He had told her that she had been under his personal supervision, he had kept the First Order in the dark about her, always referring to her as the Jedi or simply the girl. 

It was a ridiculous idea, and yet it made some sense. She wasn’t sure whether or not she wanted to know his password now. But she needed to get back to the Resistance and there were far more pressing matters than the feeling she may or may not have for a dark lord with a bad temper. 

Taking a deep breath, she typed in her name. 

Resh. Esk. Yirt. 

The datapad unlocked and Rey rolled her eyes, “Bastard.” she muttered, although she couldn’t stop the traitorous smile that quirked her lips. Immediately, she set about setting up a private channel that would hopefully go under the First Order’s radar so she could connect to the Resistance undetected. Her fingers moved over the controls as quickly as she could, Rose’s lessons on computers running through her mind as she worked, she didn’t know how much time she had before his lordship would get back. 

Once she had secured the channel, she fired a message out to the Resistance, crossing her fingers as she waited anxiously for a response. To her relief, it was only a few minutes later when she received her reply in the form of an incoming call. 

She answered it and Leia Organa appeared before her. 

“Rey! Are you alright?” she asked hurriedly. 

“Yes, yes I’m fine. Just ran into a spot of trouble that’s all.”

“Would that trouble involve a certain Supreme Leader by any chance?” 

Rey bit her lip nervously but nodded, “Yes General.”

Leia’s eyes widened as she spoke in a panicked tone, “Are you hurt Rey? Did he attack you?” 

Rey shook her head, “No, he rescued me.” only when she said it allowed did she realise how strange it was, admitting that her greatest enemy had saved her life. And the fact she was telling his mother this really was the cherry on the cake. 

“He rescued you?” Leia asked curiously, her eyebrow arching as Rey watched the woman try and unpick what she was hearing. 

“The contact betrayed me, General, I was stabbed when retrieving the drive and passed out shortly after I sent it to you.” Rey took a deep breath, “The Supreme Leader found me and brought me back to his ship where he has had a med-droid attend to my wound.” 

Leia nodded slowly in understanding, her gaze flickering between Rey and the ring she always wore. “Where is he now?” she asked slowly, Rey sensed that the General was afraid that her son had heard their conversation. 

“I don’t know, he has left me in his quarters, I found this datapad on his desk.” Rey explained, “For all I know, he could come back any minute.” 

Rey watched as Leia reclined slightly in her chair, she was tired but still trying to remain professional. “I suppose we will need to make this quick, then.” she said, “Will I be able to reach you on this line again?”

Rey shrugged, “I don’t know what the Supreme Leader’s plans are so I can’t make any promises. I have your personal code so whenever I get the chance I will.” 

“I will discuss our options with command on how we can get you out of there, for the time being you may need to sit tight and find out what my s- the Supreme Leader is planning to do with you. We will work as quickly as we can, do you have means of defending yourself?” Leia asked, a grim expression mixed with worry across her face. 

“He won’t hurt me.” Rey said firmly. “He is angry but he has already had multiple opportunities to kill me. Unless there is a bigger plan, I believe I am safe for now.” 

“This is a dangerous game, Rey.” 

“And one I am strong enough to play, General.” Rey responded, “Maybe my being here could do something good, I told you about my connection to Ben and the conflict I have felt within him.”

Leia sighed, shaking her head, “Rey, you don’t have to do this. My son chose his path, don’t feel obliged to try and change his course.” Rey noticed the pain in the woman’s arms. The pain of a daughter who had lost her parents. A sister who had lost her brother. A wife who had lost her husband. A mother who had lost her son. 

Rey was treading on thin ice, the people around her wanted her dead and she couldn’t trust that Ben wouldn’t strike at any moment, he could be plotting her death at that very moment for all she knew. But for Leia, she had to try. She had to try once again to bring her son home. 

The familiar spark of hope lit up within her heart, the light that surrounded her could once again lead Ben home. As much as she wanted to get off the kriffing flagship, maybe she could figure out a way to bring Ben with her. 

“I will focus on getting off this damn ship and returning to the Resistance, General.” said Rey, “But if there is a possibility that I can bring your son with me, I will.” 

A small smile quirked Leia’s lips and she nodded, “Thank you, Rey. May the force be with you.” 

Rey returned her smile, before watching as the call cut and silence once again fell over the room. Placing the datapad down next to her, Rey got to her feet. 

She walked across the room to the large, glass, viewport that looked out at the stars. Her brief conversation with the General had held so much weight, so much promise. It made her heart heavy. The moment of gentle kindness she had received from Ben had sparked hope. It scared her, she didn’t trust herself to hope that he could return. She wanted to believe that he could, he had saved her, surely that meant something. 

Her hand reached up and touched the glass, she was touching the stars. Ben was somewhere on that ship, maybe he was also watching them. Closing her eyes, she reached out to him through their bond, searching for even a glimmer of light within his shadows, anything that could allow her to hope. She took deep breaths, pushing harder and waiting as she reached the walls of his mind. 

He had left the room with his helmet on, he had left the room to be Kylo Ren. She hoped Ben Solo was out there too. 

With one last tug on their bond, she whispered his name through the force connecting them.

_ Ben _

Moments later, a response came.

_ Rey _

\---

He stood staring out of the viewport in the command room when he heard his name echoing through the bond.

_ Ben _

Taking a deep breath and trying to steel himself, he responded.

_ Rey _

He was thankful for his mask, allowing him to hide his emotions from the officers around him, Rey’s presence in his mind always left him feeling a number of things ranging from extreme joy and excitement (emotions he hadn’t experienced in years) to rage and fury. At times, her presence was soothing and calmed him down. Other times he was reminded of how she had betrayed him in the throne room and his mood switched to hurt and anger. Her presence was a constant reminder of how she had rejected him. And now she was in his own quarters after having slept in his bed. He had to remind himself that unfortunately, Rey wasn’t there by choice and soon he would be forced to let her go for both of their safety. 

When he had felt Rey’s signature prodding at the bond, he had been studying the numbers from the hanger bay, trying to ascertain which ship would be the safest and most inconspicuous for Rey to escape on. It would have to be during the flagship’s night cycle and even then he couldn’t be certain that Rey wouldn’t be reported by an officer or stormtrooper on their rounds. He could use the force to mind trick them if it was needed, but he’d rather get Rey off the ship with as few incidents as possible. 

Her presence had distracted him, encouraging him to look out the viewport that looked out at the stars. As he stood in front of it, he wondered if she was doing the same. He’d overstepped, bringing her to his flagship had been a risky plan if he wasn’t careful it could backfire and put both of their lives on the line. 

He had only just got her back, after months of wishing things had gone differently in the throne room, she was finally here with him. Letting her go again, allowing her to fly away would be torturous. Maybe this time they could part as acquaintances, form a temporary truce before they went back to trying to kill each other. Even after their… eventful past, he knew that what had occurred over the last twelve hours had changed things. 

Ben shook his head, he needed to control his emotions. He needed to control the feelings he held for the young Jedi, it would only cause them pain.

_ Why did you storm out? _

Her voice was angelic as it moved through his mind, causing his heart to pound furiously in his chest. 

_ There are some pressing matters I need to attend to. _

_ If it involves ruling the galaxy through oppressive dictator methods, I’ll leave you to it. _

Ben scoffed.

_ If you knew any of our policies, you would see that the First Order strives first and foremost for order and peace in the galaxy with a fair democracy.  _

He could practically feel her eyeroll.

_ Oh, so you do know the word democracy because the actions of the First Order really don’t reflect that.  _

Ben clenched his fists, she knew nothing about what he was trying to do. 

_ I don’t think you are in a position to voice your opinion on these matters, you had the opportunity to do so months ago.  _

He felt the cold stab across the bond followed by an awkward silence, he had made a point that she couldn’t dispute. If she had stayed with him, taken his hand and joined him, she would be ruling the galaxy at his side. 

He felt Rey retreat, closing the bond and throwing walls up around her mind. Moving away from the viewport, he stormed out of the command room and went in the direction of the hangar bay, the sooner Rey was gone, the better. The best course of action was to give her his personal shuttle, it had automatic clearance in and out of the flagship, all he needed to do was disable the tracker and she would be free to go. 

When he turned the corner to enter the hangar, he came face to face with General Hux who looked like he had been standing waiting for him. “Supreme Leader.” Ben wanted to storm away immediately. General Hux was a flaw in his plan, an irritant who had been sent by the universe to make his life difficult. Hux was always first to argue against him, always opting for violence over a discussion. The man wanted complete control over the galaxy, using brute force to get it instead of setting up a stable democracy that could successfully control the galaxy. Hux was making the mistakes the Empire had made, Ben just hoped he would still be around to see his downfall.

“What is it, General Hux?” he spat in response, he didn’t have time for this. Hux always seemed to drop in at the worst times to make executing his plans harder, he needed Rey off the ship before Hux decided to take matters regarding her into his own hands.

“It has come to my attention that you were able to acquire the Jedi girl.” It didn’t surprise Ben, he had expected that the news would’ve gotten to him eventually after his dramatic entrance with Rey in his arms. He regretted that now, he should’ve been more careful and snuck her in. But panic had taken over and his emotions had clouded his better judgement.

“That is correct, General, why it has anything to do with you I don’t know.” 

Hux sent him an icy glare, “She murdered the former Supreme Leader, our men want justice, they want to see her punished.” 

“That is down to me, General, I will do with the Jedi what I see fit. You will not get involved, the Jedi will be punished.” Ben said firmly, he hated how easily the lie slipped out. As hurt as he was that Rey betrayed him, he wouldn’t let her take the punishment for a crime he committed. 

“The leadership will call for a public execution.” 

“That will not be needed.”

Hux raised an eyebrow, sauntering forward with his hands behind his back as a small smirk quirked his lips, “I do hope you are not trying to defend the Jedi, Supreme Leader, I don’t want to be forced to call for a vote of no confidence.” the General said casually. 

Ben threw up a finger, silencing him, “I will not be threatened, General Hux, I suggest you remember your position and who your superior is.” He said firmly. 

Hux nodded slowly, “Of course, Supreme Leader, forgive me. I will return to the command deck.” he said with a mock bow. If they weren’t surrounded by various stormtroopers and officers, Ben would have strangled the infuriating man with his bare hands, instead, he allowed Hux to walk away with a smirk across his face. Ben felt a shiver go down his spine, Hux was up to no good, he could feel it. He knew what ideas were brewing inside the man’s mind, he needed to be careful if he wanted to keep his position. Hux had the support of the First Order’s army, if there was a coup, Ben couldn’t guarantee that he would come out on top. 

\---

Rey was sitting on the sofa when the door to the quarters opened and he came storming into the room, pulling off his helmet to reveal a very angry expression. “I’ve secured a transport for you.” he said, “You leave tonight.” 

She watched as he slammed his helmet down on his desk, next to where she had returned his datapad. He took a seat opposite her on the couch, letting out a tired sigh as he ran his hand through his dark hair. “You’re letting me go?” Rey asked, taken aback by the sudden announcement, she had expected him to try and turn her to the darkside again. 

“You don’t want to stay here, your wound is healing so there is no reason for me to keep you here against your will.” He answered, tugging off his leather gloves. 

“Except for that fact that I am your enemy, am I not a prisoner here? Shouldn’t you be trying to get information out of me?” 

“You and I both know it would be a pointless attempt, Rey, I can get you out of here now and tell the leadership you escaped during the night.” 

It felt too good to be true, he couldn’t possibly be letting her go without a price. “Is that it then? You will just put me on a transport and wave goodbye?” 

Ben quirked an eyebrow, “Do you want to remain a prisoner here?”

“No…”

“Do you want to rule at my side?”

Rey’s breath caught in her throat, Ben’s intensive gaze was pouring into her own and she felt her heart hammer furiously against her chest as she struggled to find a response. Looking down into her lap, she fiddled with the edge of the cushion she had been sitting with. Here he was, facing her with the same question he had all those months ago. Only this time, he knew her answer, just as she did. 

“No.” she said gently.

“Then I don’t see why we need to discuss this any further.” he answered, getting to his feet and moving away from her. He failed to hide the hurt in his eyes, with one word she had turned him down again, she wasn’t sure whether it was better or worse than reaching for a lightsaber. 

This thing that had built between them confused her. Maybe it was just the light and the dark entwining as they always did. Maybe it was the compassion he had shown her. Maybe they were both weak and desperate to find someone as lonely as they were. 

Rey stood, facing his back as he looked out of the viewport. “Come with me.” she found herself saying. They could escape together, go back to the Resistance, fulfil the promise she had given to Leia by bringing her son home. 

Ben sighed, before turning to her with a plaintive expression across his face, “You know I can’t.”

“Why not?” Rey demanded, anger rising as she clenched her fists at her sides. 

Ben’s expression hardened, “You know damn well why not. The darkside is in my nature, this is where I belong.” 

“That’s bantha crap and you know it.” Rey said with a glare. 

“Excuse me?” 

“You’re afraid! There is light in you Ben Solo but you are too much of a coward to let it in.” she exclaimed. 

“It’s not that simple!” he retorted, his voice rising as he stepped away from the viewport.

“Why not?!” 

“Because I chose this path!” he shouted, “I can’t go back to my mother now, you understand better than anyone else. The galaxy needs order, I am the Supreme Leader and it is my duty to rule and restore peace and order to the galaxy.”

Rey wanted to roll her eyes at his ridiculous politics, Snoke had fed him lie after lie for years, even now that he was dead it seemed his legacy lived on. “By killing people?” Rey offered.

Ben scoffed, “You say that like the Resistance haven’t killed hundreds of people. Tell me, Rey, how many ships and men did the Resistance sacrifice when taking down our dreadnought and killing hundreds of stormtroopers and officers in the first place. Your precious cause isn't as innocent as you think.” 

As much as she hated it, he wasn’t wrong. Both sides had committed horrific acts in this way, the Resistance weren’t innocent because they had killed slightly fewer people than the First Order had. “People don’t win a war, they survive one day at a time to stop people like the First Order from killing everyone faster.” Rey responded lowering her voice as she slowly began to calm down. 

“If you hate the First Order so much, why didn’t you try and change things? I gave you the opportunity to join me and restore a new order to the galaxy. I offered you all the power in the universe and you refused.” 

Rey could feel tears starting to form in her eyes, everything Ben was saying was true. She called him a coward even when she was a coward herself. “I didn’t want power.” she said quietly, looking down at her feet, unable to meet his angry glare for the fear she would break down in tears if she did. Rey blamed the painkillers he had given her for making her so emotional, that was definitely why she was on the verge of tears. 

“Then what do you want, Rey?” Ben demanded. 

When she looked up at him, she wanted to tell him the truth, that the only thing she had truly wanted was him. She knew he could sense her hesitation, the immense sadness she felt whenever she remembered how he had pleaded with her in the Throne Room. He took a step forward and she looked up as he towered over her, their faces were so close and she felt his breath tickling her skin as he spoke, “What do you want, Rey?” he repeated, his voice was so gentle, barely a whisper as his eyes searched hers for his answer. 

Rey briefly wondered how easy it would be to lean forward and press her lips to his own, just to see what it would feel like to have his soft lips move against her own. Slowly she leaned forward, her heart catching in her throat as he did the same until they were mere inches apart. 

The feeling of his hand reaching out to take her own was what brought her back to reality. As much as she wanted it, she couldn’t have this, they were enemies and things were far too complicated. Taking this leap would result in falling down a cavern of pain and suffering. 

Closing her eyes, she took a deep breath before taking a step back, his hand dropping away from hers. She immediately missed his touch. “I am sorry for taking up so much of your time, Supreme Leader, I will collect my things and leave whenever you wish for me to depart.” 

Rey walked away from him, moving back to his bedroom where she knew her bag was resting on the small dresser. She didn’t look back, she couldn’t face the boy who had once again been rejected. Only when she shut the bedroom door did she allow the tears to come, flowing freely down her cheeks as she let out a silent plea that in the next life the universe would be kind, that they wouldn’t be enemies, that things could be different for them...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed please consider leaving comments and kudos!  
> Come say hi:
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/reylotrash711) [Tumblr](https://reylotrash711.tumblr.com/)


	3. escape

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “I guess this is it then.”
> 
> Ben nodded, “I guess so.” he said quietly, “There are medical supplies in the ship, the bacta has healed it nicely but it would be a good idea to keep an eye on it for a few days.” 
> 
> Rey gave him a small and shy smile, stretching out her hand. He shook it politely, trying his best to ignore the tingle he felt as their hands met, “Thank you for everything, I won’t forget this.” she said. 
> 
> “Neither will I.” Ben breathed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quite a short update today as I wanted to end on a cliffhanger, don't worry there will be more on the way soon!

It was just after midnight when he led Rey in handcuffs to the hangar bay. The corridors were nearly empty, any stormtroopers they passed would simply presume that he was taking her to the cellblock or to be interrogated. It didn’t calm his nerves. He walked a few paces ahead of her, clenching and unclenching his fists at his sides. He had decided to forgo his helmet, a definite mistake considering how bad he was at concealing his emotions sometimes. Stormtroopers didn’t cower as much when he didn’t wear his mask, but they did still go out of their way to avoid him, pressing up against the durasteel walls of the corridor as he passed them. 

Rey had built up a sturdy wall around her mind, a few times he attempted to prod at it but each time she had bit back with a forceful push. He tried not to dwell on the moments right before they left, when she had emerged from his room with bloodshot eyes, clutching her bag as she responded to him with mumbles. She had been crying. He thought of what had almost happened after their argument. Of how his heart had raced as he moved closer to her, when she had leaned in and her eyes had flickered down to his lips. He had never kissed anyone before, never wanted to kiss anyone for that matter. But the way she had gotten so close to him, looking up at him with her beautiful eyes as a million thoughts ran through his head.

He wanted to hold her, to tell her how sorry he was for hurting her. To tell her how afraid of losing her he had been, that when he had seen her in the cockpit his heart had shattered into hundreds of pieces. He knew it would be making a mistake, that it would only open them up to confessions he wasn’t even ready to admit to himself. Maybe when they met again, he would be ready. He sincerely hoped that they would be able to meet as allies instead of sworn enemies. 

When they reached the hangar, he led her to one of his older shuttles. It was small with only a cockpit, mini fresher and a set of bunks for crew members but it was packed with rations and hopefully enough fuel to take them wherever she needed to go. He checked if the coast was clear, relieved to see that they were indeed alone in the hangar with only company being the sound of janitors in the distance. With a wave of his hand, the handcuffs fell off her wrists and he pocketed them before handing her the bag of her possessions that he had concealed beneath his cloak. 

“Thanks.” Rey mumbled, taking it from him before looking up the ramp of the shuttle, “I guess this is it then.”

Ben nodded, “I guess so.” he said quietly, “There are medical supplies in the ship, the bacta has healed it nicely but it would be a good idea to keep an eye on it for a few days.” 

Rey gave him a small and shy smile, stretching out her hand. He shook it politely, trying his best to ignore the tingle he felt as their hands met, “Thank you for everything, I won’t forget this.” she said. 

“Neither will I.” Ben breathed. 

Rey pulled her hand away, a plaintive look in her eyes as she slowly walked away, moving up the ramp backwards as she looked down at him. “Goodbye Ben.” she said gently.

“Good-”

He was cut off by an all too familiar voice, “Leaving so soon?” Rey froze on the ramp, looking over his shoulder with wide eyes. Ben turned to face General Hux and what looked like at least a company of stormtroopers standing behind him alongside other members of leadership. Ben stepped forward, his hand moving to rest on his saber that hung on his belt. “Would you care to explain why you are assisting a valuable prisoner and allowing them to escape?” Hux asked, a smirk across his face as he revelled in his victory. 

“I do not answer to you, General.” Ben said firmly, “You are under my command.”

Hux let out a cruel chuckle, “Let’s drop the charade, Ren, hand over the prisoner.”

Ben glared at him, “You don’t order me around, Hux.” he spat.

The General sighed, “Then you leave me with no choice.” He raised his hand and suddenly Ben found himself with far too many blasters pointed in his direction. “For the good of the First Order and everyone serving on this ship I hereby command that you come quietly, Supreme Leader, as I call for a vote of no confidence.” 

Ben unclipped his saber from his belt, “I am your leader.” he said through gritted teeth.

Hux tilted his head, raising an eyebrow, “Are you?” he asked casually, “I don’t believe a traitor of the First Order should be in a position of power in the way you are, Ren.” 

“What are you talking about?” Ben asked slowly. 

“It wasn’t the girl who murdered our former leader, was it, Ren?” Hux asked, “It was you.”

Ben’s grip on his lightsaber hilt tightened and he took a slow step backwards, “You’re lying.”

“So it was the girl.” Hux stated, gesturing for each blaster to move to point at Rey. He could feel her fear through the bond, she was slowly letting down her walls and opening up to him, she was trying to think of a way out. 

“No, it was me.” Ben said, “The Jedi had nothing to do with it.” 

Hux smirked at him, an evil twinkle in his eyes, “Kylo Ren you are under-arrest for betraying the First Order and aiding a prisoner, lay down your weapon and-”

The General was cut off by Rey’s shout, “DUCK!”

Ben did so without hesitation, watching as Rey sent a number of supply crates from inside the shuttle in Hux’s direction. The stormtroopers and officers let out a yelp, scrambling out of the way before opening fire on Rey and Ben. He got to his feet, looking back at Rey, “Go! Run!” he exclaimed. 

Rey glared at him, storming down the ramp and grabbing onto his arm, “Fine. But you’re coming with me.” she said firmly, pulling him in the direction of the ramp. Ben didn’t argue, igniting his lightsaber and blocking the incoming blasts as he followed Rey into the shuttle.

As soon as he was up, he slammed his hand on the control to close it as Rey rushed into the cockpit to prepare for take off. Blast bounced off the walls of the ship and Ben heard Hux distantly shout, “Stop that shuttle!” 

He slid into the co-pilot’s seat, double-checking that he had in fact disabled all the trackers as Rey initiated the take off sequence. “Where are we going?” she asked.

“Anywhere but here!” 

“I’m taking us to the Resistance.”

“Don’t you dare!”

Rey ignored him, typing in a set of coordinates as she guided the ship out of the hangar bay. “Prepare to jump to hyperspace.” she said.

Ben sent her a cold look, “This is my ship!” he exclaimed, “Change the coordinates.”

“Prepare to jump!”

They were shouting at each other now. “This is all your fault!” he shouted angrily, as he did as she said. 

“My fault? You’re the one who got us into this mess!” the ship shook violently as they were hit by one of the flagship’s canons. Ben gripped the edges of his seat, looking out of the viewport just as a fleet of TIE-Fighters came into view. 

“I was trying to save your life!” he argued.

They took another hit, Rey let out an annoyed huff, “Thank you, but maybe next time stick to trying to destroy me because I think the survival rate is higher!”

“FINE!”   
  
“FINE!”

The familiar streaks of blue came into view as Rey led the ship into hyperspace. Just as they thought they were safe, another hit came in from the left, sending Rey and Ben from their seats as the ship shook violently and the computers beeped as everything malfunctioned. “KRIFF!” Rey shouted, scrambling to get back into the pilot’s ship to get back in control. 

Ben watched as Rey worked furiously to try and stabilise them, he tried to get back to his feet when he was knocked back down as another shudder moved through the ship as they found themselves randomly dropping out of lightspeed. Rey screamed as she was thrown down violently, the ship tilting up on a vertical axis as the inside of the cockpit started flashing red. Grabbing onto the wall, Ben held on tight as he reached out, “Rey!” he called, trying to hold onto her hand as she continued to slide downwards. 

“Ben!” she shouted, forcing herself up, Rey grabbed his hand and held on tight as they tried to pull themselves back to the controls. The shuttle began to tip again, the contents of the cockpit sliding back and forth as Rey and Ben struggled to their feet. Looking out of the viewport, Ben widened his eyes when he saw they were rapidly approaching the surface of a planet. 

Gripping the seat, he tried to find any control that could be working, tapping away furiously to try and contact any ports on the surface of the planet who could help them. Much to his dismay, sparks began to fly from the control panel, the whole thing was burning up. 

His heart dropped, they were going to crash. This is how they were going to die. He didn’t care about himself, but Rey, she deserved so much more and so much better. Once again he had made another decision that had ended badly for both of them, he never should have brought her to the flagship, he should’ve sought medical attention elsewhere. Ben found himself cursing every decision he had ever made as the planet came closer and closer. He felt Rey squeeze his hand, he turned to her to see a small but sad smile across her face, “It’ll be okay, I promise.” she said gently. He looked at her with sad eyes, trying his best to return her smile, even at the end she was with him.

It was now or never, he had to tell her before it was too late. Screw being ready, was anyone ever ready for these moments? At least he could die with the knowledge that Rey was aware of the way he was starting to realise he felt about her. He hesitated before slowly edging closer to her, gripping her hand like a vice, “Rey, I never told you-”

“BEN, LOOK OUT!”

He turned just in time to see a crate flying in his direction, before he even had the chance to reach out to try and try and stop it. He felt the heavy impact and heard a terrified scream from Rey before the whole world went dark…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you enjoyed please consider leaving comments and kudos!  
> Come say hi:
> 
> [Twitter](https://twitter.com/reylotrash711) [Tumblr](https://reylotrash711.tumblr.com/)


	4. desperate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “Why are we like this?” One minute we are fighting we are fighting, the next we are… well… doing this.” Rey asked, gesturing to his leg as she slowly began to tie the bandages around it.
> 
> “I guess it’s just the way we are.” Ben said in return.
> 
> “But I think I want us to be different.”

The first thing she felt was the worst headache in the galaxy. She groaned, moving her hand to her pounding head as she slowly sat up, pushing a fallen chair off her aching body. Opening her eyes, she looked around to see smoke and fire. Assessing herself, Rey noted that nothing was broken, she was very lucky. Slowly she got to her feet, brushing herself off as she felt a pain bloom in her side. She looked down to see her tunic was slowly becoming red, indicating that her stab wound had re-opened. Everything slowly began to come back to her, Hux ordering the shuttle to be shot down, dropping out of lightspeed, the ship spiralling out of control as she grabbed Ben’s hand… Ben. 

“Ben!” she called out, panicking as she scrambled out of the ruins of the shuttle, her eyes scanning across it as she desperately searched for Ben. “Ben!” she shouted again, crawling through where the viewport had been smashed. 

She saw him then, lying a few metres away, deathly still in the green grass. Rey rushed over, clutching her side as she fell to her knees next to him. She gently shook him, “Ben, are you all right?” he groaned in response, his eyes fluttering open as he slowly sat up, rubbing the back of his neck. 

Slowly he came back to himself and Rey watched as he blinked a few times, taking in his surroundings. There were small cuts across his skin, maybe that explained why the viewport was smashed to bits. When he turned to her, his eyes widened, “Are we dead?” 

Rey chuckled, “I don’t think so, how we aren’t, I’m not sure.” she answered. Ben’s eyes scanned across her body, she felt him search for injuries through the bond. When his eyes fell upon her bleeding torso, his panic spiked. “Force, Rey, your wound must have reopened, we need to patch it up immediately.” 

They turned to the remains of the shuttle, “Any chance the supplies survived?” 

Ben slowly scrambled to his feet, wincing as he stepped onto his leg that seemed to also be bleeding. Together they scrambled back to the ship, climbing through a large gaping hole in the durasteel wall. Using the force, Ben lifted one of the cockpit chairs and gestured for Rey to sit down. Rey reluctantly obliged, watching as Ben limped through the ship, pushing aside various crates until he reached the one holding medical supplies. Wrenching it open, he pulled out bacta patches and bandages before hobbling back to her and sitting on the other seat in front of her.

“Are you ever going to stop trying to save my life?” she asked, slowly pulling up her shirt. 

Ben shrugged, “Maybe you should stop getting hurt then.”

“Hey, it was your fault we crashed!” Rey countered. 

Ben let out a tired sigh, “At least let me help you before we start arguing.” Rey fell silent, allowing him to untie the blood-covered bandages with his careful and gentle hands. His hands brushed against her bare torso, sending electricity through her veins with each touch. Her breath caught in her throat as they danced along her skin when he applied the bacta patch. She felt her cheeks heating up and she was fairly certain that her they were probably an embarrassing shade of pink by now. When he had tied off the bandage, he looked up, his intense gaze meeting her own as her heart pounded furiously against her chest. 

Her mind moved to the moments before the crash where he had held onto her hand as they looked into each other’s eyes desperately, preparing for their last moments. He had been about to tell her something, she could feel that it had been important. She wanted to ask him what it was he had wanted to say before the ship crashed and they were thrown apart. Perhaps it was an apology of some sort, maybe he wanted to repent his sins in his final moments. It could have just been a spur of the moment thing amidst the panic, but maybe it was something more and if it was, Rey found herself desperately wanting to know. She didn’t want to dance around these feelings that had gradually begun to bloom between them. They rapidly jumped between moments of hating each other, screaming and insulting each other before changing suddenly to being so close to each other. Close moments that she even dared to say were quite intimate, it made her heart skip a beat. She had never considered such a thing before but when he had returned to his quarters before their escape, when he had taken a step closer to her and asked her what she wanted, she just wanted to kiss him and never stop. The feelings were dangerous, she knew she had to try and force them down, even if she really didn’t want to...

She let go of a breath she hadn’t realised she had been holding before hesitantly reaching forward and brushing his dark hair away from his face to reveal an angry cut across the left side of his forehead. Taking a tube of bacta from where he had rested the medical supplies on top of the broken control panel, she wordlessly took the cap off, squeezing it onto her finger before reaching forward and gently applying it to his forehead. Ben let out a content sigh as she worked, gently making sure she didn’t press too hard on the wound. When she pulled away, he gave her a small smile, “Thank you.”

She simply nodded in response before gesturing to his leg, “Will you let me see?” she asked. 

“I have a feeling it won’t be a pleasant sight,” he muttered.

Rey sighed, “Just let me make sure it’s okay.”

Ben nodded in defeat, stretching out his leg as Rey sunk down on her knees in front of him, reaching for the leg of his trousers. They were tight around his ankles, there was no way of pulling them up without making the wound worse. Looking around the wrecked cockpit, Rey contemplated what to do. Her eyes fell upon the broken viewport and she had an idea. Reaching out, she summoned a particularly sharp shard of glass, being careful as she handled it before cutting through Ben’s trouser leg. 

The wound the fabric revealed made Rey’s stomach churn. Ben winced as she gently tried to rub some bacta into it, “Sorry.” she said gently, “We need to find a med-droid.” 

Ben nodded in agreement, “Good thing we know exactly where we are and where the nearest medical facility is.” he said sarcastically. 

Rey bit her lip nervously, moving the torn trousers to cover the bloody wound. She got to her feet, looking around the cockpit again before stepping out, Ben following shortly behind her. They seemed to have landed in a forest judging by the number of fallen trees surrounding the ship. Trudging towards the treeline, Rey reached for a branch from one of the fallen trees, using the force to assist her in pulling a small one off. Breaking off a few twigs from it, she stood it upright, it was a little taller than her and fairly sturdy, it was perfect. Moving back to Ben, she handed him the stick, “It will help you walk.”

“Thank you.” he said, taking the stick and testing how much weight he could put on his bad leg. The pair stood side by side, looking out into the forest around them as they weighed out their options. If the First Order were tracking them, they wanted to be as far away from the shuttle as soon as possible which meant going out into the woods, wounded with only their lightsabers to defend themselves. 

“I say we go and look for a nearby settlement,” Rey said after ten minutes of discussion. Ben nodded in agreement, leaning onto the staff and brushing his hair out of his face. Rey thought her knees were going to buckle as she took in the sight. She mentally chided herself for thinking such things. They staggered back to the ruins of the ship and Rey insisted that Ben sit down as she picked through their supplies. She found her bag and began to fill it with ration bars and medical supplies. She put as much in as possible, filling the back to the brim before stuffing the last few ration bars into her pockets. Securing her lightsaber on her belt, she took one last look around the ruins of the ship for anything that could be useful to them. Rey moved through the bunks that seemed to have caught fire during the crash and peered into the small fresher where she collected some soaps that may be helpful if they find a working fresher on their journey (it wasn’t likely but Rey didn’t want to waste anything by leaving it behind). 

Making her way out of the ship, she moved to where Ben was sitting in what had once been the pilot’s seat. “Come on then, Supreme Leader, let’s go and find someone to fix that leg.” said Rey, helping him to his feet. 

“I doubt I’m the Supreme Leader anymore.” he said dryly.

Rey shrugged, “Not to worry, I think I prefer you when you aren’t.” she said casually. In the corner of her eye, she noticed him blush slightly at the comment. Rey looked out at the forest, it was going to be a very long trip…

\---

Judging by where the sun was when they had woken up by the crash, Ben presumed it had to have been around midday. They had no way of knowing which planet they were on, they had dropped out of lightspeed so abruptly that they hadn’t had time to work out the coordinates. Without this knowledge, they couldn’t work out how long a cycle was, for all they knew it could be almost dark due to how long they had been walking through the forest. Peering up at the sun now, Ben noticed how it was beginning to set on the horizon, the sky slowly becoming a mix of yellows and oranges. 

It had taken a while to get used to walking on his bad leg, leaning on the staff Rey had fashioned from the fallen tree. Every now and then they stopped so he could catch his breath. They sat under the trees eating the ration bars Rey had picked up however they were yet to find water and Ben could feel his mouth becoming increasingly dry as the hours went by. The forests were dark and seemed to go on forever, Ben wondered if they would ever find a settlement or village, he really hoped they hadn’t ended up on a planet with no civilisations of any kind.

As the oranges settled over the horizon, they finally reached what seemed to be the edge of the forest. Rey let out a relieved sigh when a stream of freshwater came into view, running through the edge of a stone mountain with various caves here and there. “Come on.” Rey said, already taking off towards the river, “I’ll collect water, you collect firewood and we can set up a camp in one of the caves.”

Rey didn’t wait for a response, Ben watched as she rushed down to the river, pulling a flask out of her bag and starting to fill it with water. A bright smile spread across her face as she cupped the rushing water with her hands, washing her face and breathing a sigh of relief. He understood why Rey had dreamed of an ocean, it would feel like heaven after a lifetime spent on somewhere as desolate as Jakku. Ben wondered if it was her favourite thing, after plants and flowers of course. Deep in his chest, he felt an urge to ensure that Rey was always surrounded by flowing water and greenery. She had looked around the forest with excitement, her fingers brushing against the leaves and trees they passed them, that feeling in his chest became lighter whenever her eyes caught hold of a flower or oddly shaped leaf, the emotions she projected over the bond were intoxicating. Her heart was so light, she saw the good in things. Despite their predicament, despite how they were stranded on an unknown planet with no idea whether or not they would survive to see tomorrow, Rey took it all in her stride, eager to discover whatever this planet had to offer. 

Rey turned and caught his gaze, offering him a small smile that shook him out of his daze. What was he meant to be doing? Firewood. Yup, he needed to collect firewood. It would be a struggle, but by channeling the force he could just about bare it. Turning away from Rey, he focused on his task. With his staff in hand to assist, he set about collecting firewood and used the force to float it down towards the cave Rey had decided they would camp in for the night. He dropped it in the middle of the cave and Rey began to start a fire, they were a perfect team he contemplated as he took a sip from the flask Rey had filled up by the river. It certainly wasn’t the cleanest water, but it was better than nothing. 

Half an hour later, they were seated on opposite sides of the fire, eating the fish Rey had caught in the river and cooked over the fire. As he looked at Rey across the fire, it struck him how familiar it felt. It felt like an eternity ago when they were seated in a small hut on Ahch-To, opening themselves up to each other and offering words of comfort as they reached out across the stars, their hands brushing against each other and igniting something within Ben that he never even considered he would feel for another person.

Rey looked up, her gaze meeting his before he quickly turned his attention to his fish. A small look of disgust washed over his face as he took another bite. He heard Rey chuckle and looked up, furrowing his brows, “What?” he asked.

Still laughing Rey pointed at the fish, “Not a fancy First Order dinner is it?” 

Ben shrugged, “I’ve had worse.” This fish was the worst thing he had ever eaten. 

Rey shook her head, “Yes, I’m sure all those fancy banquets, that I know for a fact you have attended so don’t deny it, had appalling catering.” she said, holding her head up high as she put on a posh accent. Ben’s lips quirked up in a small grin. They had never been like this, talking at such ease that they could joke with each other. He liked it.

“Trust me, those dinners were some of the worst nights of my life.” Ben muttered. 

Rey raised an eyebrow, “I’m sorry, was being waited on hand and foot painful?” she asked, a slight hint of malice in her voice. Ben felt a pang of guilt. Rey had grown up with nothing and here he was whining about the luxuries he had had his whole life. He had never had to worry about not having food to eat, he had rarely even cooked throughout his life, it was all done for him. 

“That’s not what I meant,” he said slowly, trying to grasp her reaction before he said anything stupid, “I had a very privileged upbringing, to say the least, but it wasn’t all sunshine and rainbows.” With a sigh, he placed his fish to the side and looked into the burning fire, staring into the oranges and yellows, “My moth- General Organa would bring me along to her political events as a tool, she used me as a way of getting her way I suppose. I was a beacon of hope and she certainly treated me that way ‘Imperial sympathisers in the Outer Rim? Meet my son Ben, look how much he has grown!’ I hated it, there were rarely any children my age there, not that it would change anything of course, I wasn’t very good at making friends. They seemed to be endless, dragging on into the night until I would eventually fall asleep in a chair in the corner. There were many occasions where she would forget me on her way out and I would be woken by a service droid at three in the morning.” Ben looked down at his feet, fiddling with his fingers in his lap. He needed to pull himself together, he hated how nervous he was around Rey, he couldn’t understand why he was.

“I know how it sounds, poor spoiled little rich boy, what does he know about misery?”

“No.” Ben looked up at Rey who was sitting watching him intently, “Believe it or not, Ben Solo, I know you. I’ve seen inside your mind, just as you have mine, and I don’t see a poor little boy. I see a man who was beaten down by so many times and yet he still got up each time.” 

“You said yourself that I was a coward.”

“I said you were afraid of the light, that is what made you a coward.” she stated, “Why won’t you let it in?”

Ben sighed, brushing his hair away from his face as he turned to look out of the cave, “We’ve had the conversation before, I can’t join the light for the same reason you can’t join the dark Rey. I am too far down this path to turn back now, it’s too late.” 

Rey got to her feet, crossing her arms over her chest as she looked down at him, “Why can’t you see that there is a way? Our paths aren’t set in stone, you are so afraid of what you will have to face that you won’t even consider how happy it could make you, how much good you could do if you would be the Ben Solo the galaxy needs.” 

Ben jumped to his feet, cursing as he put weight on his leg, he pointed an accusing finger at her, “You are so obsessed with it aren’t you? I can’t be the Ben Solo the galaxy needs, I never wanted any of it, I never wanted the legacy that was placed on my shoulders.” 

“What about your mother? She loves you and just wants you to return home, she has lost everything and now-”

He cut across her as his anger rose, his voice becoming a shout, “What if she just wants her son back to play happy families again? Because it’s not going to happen.”

Rey looked like she had been slapped in the face, he could see her eyes shining with unshed tears and it made his heart clench. He turned away, stumbling on his leg and catching himself on the wall. He heard her walking towards him, gently resting a hand on his forearm, “Sit down, let me look at it.” she said, her voice barely a whisper as he heard her trying to hold herself together. 

Ben nodded slowly, taking a seat on a stone ledge that stuck out from the cave wall. Summoning her bag to her, Rey opened it and took out the bandages and bacta as she knelt down in front of him. Her eyes were fixated on his leg as she pulled away the blood-covered trouser leg to reveal the slowly healing wound. Repeating what she had done earlier, Rey gently pressed the cool bacta into the wound, her fingers moving along his bare skin with so much gentleness it gave Ben goosebumps. 

“Why are we like this?” One minute we are fighting we are fighting, the next we are… well… doing this.” Rey asked, gesturing to his leg as she slowly began to tie the bandages around it.

“I guess it’s just the way we are.” Ben said in return.

“But I think I want us to be different.”

Her words sent his head spinning, a thousand thoughts racing around his head as he tried to understand what she meant. “What do you mean?” He asked as she got back up to her feet.

Rey sighed, meeting his gaze with plaintive eyes, “What were you going to tell me before the crash? You said ‘I never told you’ but never finished.”

Ben froze, he had been so close to letting out everything he had been feeling, bombarding her with it all because he was so afraid he wouldn’t get another chance. But now, as they faced each other in a safe(ish) place with a warm fire next to them, he tensed up, afraid of what such a confession would lead to, something they both weren’t ready for. 

“It was nothing.” he found himself saying. 

He waited anxiously as an emotion achingly similar to disappointment moved across her face before being quickly wiped away by a very obviously fake smile. “Okay.” she said simply, moving away from him and back to her side of the fire. 

He watched as she took her bag and placed it on the hard ground before lying down with her head resting on top of it, curled up next to the fire as she faced away from him. 

After a few moments of silence, Ben did the same, lying down on his own side of the fire. 

As he stared at the dark cave wall, he heard a whisper come from Rey, “Goodnight, Ben.”

Taking a deep breath and closing his eyes, he responded, “Goodnight, Rey.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

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	5. beasts

The following morning, Rey and Ben took off again, wandering through the dense forest in awkward silence, traces of their argument from the night before following them as they walked. Rey had barely slept, her mind refusing to slow down as she lay in the dark cave overthinking everything.

He was so defensive, so damn stubborn. She knew it would never be simple or easy, but she just hoped Ben would try. Even if it wasn’t for himself, if he did it for his mother or maybe even… her. 

She didn’t allow herself to dwell on that thought, they had formed a truce, an alliance amidst a panic to save their lives. Rey wondered how many times they would have to save each other’s life before the feelings floating between them began to settle. Love, or just relationships and romance in general, had rarely crossed Rey’s mind. On Jakku, falling in love was a dangerous game to play. It meant there was someone else’s life you had to look out for aside from your own, and on a planet where it was every creature for themself with thugs and thieves around every corner it meant you couldn’t guarantee your own safety. Even for people who did take the risk, not much would change. There was no marriage or dating on Jakku, you simply moved what little you had into whoever had the better home. Couples would scavenge together, share their portions but like everyone on Jakku, would eventually lose all hope and there would be no love in the companionship, just the constant aching emptiness that everyone in the desert felt until the day they died. Even having a physical relationship was dangerous, Jakku was no place for children. It was another mouth to feed and due to the lack of medical assistance on Jakku, more often than not the mother didn’t survive the birth, nor did the child. 

From a young age, Rey had sworn that she would never go through such things, that it wasn’t worth her time or would only leave her more broken than she already was. But when she joined the Resistance, she was introduced to so much more than what romance had been on Jakku. First, there was Finn and Poe where there was definitely something going on between them, Poe was always flirting and Finn would blush profusely when Poe was in the general vicinity. Then there was all the gossip that spread like wildfire around the base (usually because Poe never shut up) regarding who was dating who and who had gotten a little too tipsy and wandered into bed with someone. Rey herself had been approached many times, each time she had politely declined or avoided the conversation entirely because she really wasn’t interested in anyone. 

Except for one person of course. The person’s face who would often float into her mind whenever she thought about such things. At first it made her angry and disgusted with herself, but after everything that had taken place over the past few days in particular, Rey was finding it increasingly difficult to deny even to herself that something may be blooming between them. It hurt of course, for it was impossible. Ben had voiced how he felt about the light and his standing within the force, their arguments about such things were always raging and Rey couldn’t trust herself that she wouldn’t one day something that would really hurt and turn Ben away completely. A relationship during a war such as the one they were in was already impossible, throwing the force and the legacies placed on their shoulders into the mix only added more fuel to the fire.

“I don’t believe we need violence to keep control, this war is pointless.” said Ben as they climbed over a fallen tree. They had spent the past half hour politely discussing the politics of the war, listening to each other and expressing their views. “However, if after much discussion a group or place is continuously refusing to accept the laws the First Order are putting in place to benefit them, then action needs to be taken.”

“But why should it be the First Order putting the laws in place?” Rey countered.

“The First Order can provide the order and system the galaxy needs to survive.” 

“But why can’t these groups and places come together and all decide on the laws, have a fair vote to come to a decision.” Rey suggested.

Ben sighed, “That sort of democracy doesn’t work, people manipulate the votes or the system in order to rise to power. Look at the Old Republic, the late Sheev Palpatine took control of the senate and bent it to his will. That was meant to be the fair democracy and look at what happened.” he explained. Rey felt slightly intimidated listening to him talk about the Old Republic and senate, she knew next to nothing about politics, only things she had heard on the Resistance base and very rarely on Jakku when traders or travellers would fly into Niima Outpost. She knew Ben had been raised with an excellent education, she felt quite embarrassed due to the differences in their upbringings. 

“What do you want then?” Rey asked, “How would you run the galaxy?” 

Ben chuckled, “Firstly, I would never do it myself, too much hard work.” he said with a small smile, “I say we have a large group of leaders, each responsible for a different part of society. They are voted in by the people to make decisions on different matters such as military, economy, environment etc. That way there is no single person in charge with all the power.” 

Rey raised an eyebrow, “But doesn’t the First Order have only one person in charge, you?” she pointed out, pushing past the low branches in their path. In the distance, she heard a low rumble that caught her attention. She dismissed it rather quickly as Ben continued, “Now that I’m not in charge anymore, my bet is that Hux has taken control.” he said dryly. 

“And I’m guessing your plans differ slightly to his.” 

Ben nodded, “It’s why I could never get across what I wanted, the plans I wanted to put in place to try and make something out of the mess of the galaxy. Hux had the support of the leadership and the army, I was often outnumbered and so the war continues. Hux wants one person, namely him, in charge of everything. He’s making the same mistake Palpatine made over forty years ago.” 

Rey smiled at that, turning to him, “Well then I guess the Resistance won’t have any trouble when it comes to following in the Rebel Alliance’s footsteps.” There was a furrowing sound in the nearby bushes and Rey turned to see them shake suspiciously before turning her focus back to Ben.

He shrugged in response, “You’re not wrong. A system built on a weak foundation is bound to collapse.” he stated. 

“At last, we can finally agree on something.” She said, Ben gave her a shy smile that made her heart pound furiously against her chest as they continued to walk through the woods.

“Did you ever want to be a leader?” Rey asked curiously. 

Ben shook his head, “No way, not after watching my parents go through it. As a boy, I wanted to be a pilot.” he answered, for once without any sadness in his tone as he mentioned his childhood, “What about you? Who did you dream of being growing up?” 

Rey paused and considered the question. On Jakku there hadn’t exactly been many career paths available. She thought of her AT-AT, the flight simulator, the old pilot’s helmet she had played with as a child. “I wanted the same as you.” she said almost timidly, “To be a pilot so I could explore the galaxy and see the stars.” Nearby a twig snapped, making Rey’s heart jump slightly, there was something in this forest with them, she felt uneasy as she turned to Ben.

She noticed Ben blush at the recognition, to travel across the stars and discover everything the galaxy had to offer. “Well, I think you will make an excellent pilot one day, Rey.” 

“What about you?” Rey asked, wanting to believe for him that little Ben’s dream still had a possibility of coming true. 

Ben sighed, “I think you and I both know that I am not going to make it out of this war alive.” 

Her heart dropped, she opened her mouth to protest when Ben’s eyes suddenly widened as he took sight of something over her shoulder. “REY, LOOK OUT!” She turned abruptly but was pulled back by Ben, sending them both tumbling down the forest floor.

When Rey looked up, she saw a large angry beast growling at them. The pair scrambled for their weapons as the beast came closer, teeth bared as it looked ready to pounce at them. With lightsabers in hand, Rey and Ben stumbled to their feet, Ben letting out an agonised groan as he placed his leg down and abandoned the staff completely.

Igniting her blade, Rey took a defensive stance, preparing to strike if the beast moved to attack them. Ben mirrored her movements, taking deep breaths as she felt him reach out with the force to try and ascertain what the beast was going to do next. 

It must have felt the intrusion in its mind because the beast let out a mighty roar before running at both of them. Rey and Ben split off to the sides, both of them struggling to move with their usual ease as their injuries let out aches of protest. The beast went straight for Ben, snapping its teeth at him as Ben attempted to scare it off with his crimson, crackling blade. Rey came up along the rear, ready to intervene just as the beast took a lunge at Ben. 

He threw up his blade, slicing the beast across its face. Another roar sounded through the forest as the beast reeled in pain, moving rapidly and slamming its large horn in Ben’s direction, knocking him off his feet.

Screaming Ben’s name as she watched him fall to the forest floor, Rey took the opportunity to run forward, saber in hand as her stab wound protested. The beast sensed her running and turned, charging at her. Stretching out her hand, she attempted to throw it off track with the force, only to receive a similar blow to Ben that sent her tumbling to the ground next to him. 

Their sabers, knocked from their hands, they moved to attempt to lift themselves off the ground. Ben was gasping, Rey reached out and took his hand trying her best to help him as his leg dragged along the ground. She let out a whimper as she tried to push herself up. A roar filled their ears and the pair watched as the beast came charging at them, moving seemingly faster than a speeder in Rey’s eyes. Clutching Ben’s hand, Rey closed her eyes and prepared for the impact. 

\---

Ben held onto Rey’s hand as he watched the beast run towards them. Once again, he was holding onto Rey’s hand for dear life with a heavy heart and plaintive emotion moving through veins. 

He closed his eyes, preparing for the impact.

Only… it never came. 

“Hey! Down, down, down.” came a voice, a human voice, “Back! Back! Back!” Peeking through his closed eyes, Ben watched as the beast slowly began to retreat, turning and following the foreign voice that had entered the forest. Next to him, Rey slowly sat up and the pair watched as a group of people emerged from the trees, encouraging the beast to stand down. “It’s people.” Rey breathed. Ben squeezed her hand, finally a sign of hope, a chance. 

Rey got to her feet first, pulling Ben up with her as she summoned the staff to him and clipped their sabers to her belt. He looked down at his saber resting on his belt, it should scare him that he was defenceless, that someone else had control of his weapon. But he didn’t, he trusted Rey now more than ever. 

“Who are you? Lost are you?” shouted a man from the group that was moving towards them.

“Yes.” Rey said, taking a step forward, “We crash-landed here yesterday.” 

The man nodded in understanding, “You two aren’t looking too good, it’s lucky we found you when we did. The beasts of these forests aren’t particularly friendly.” he said, flashing a roguish smile towards Rey that made Ben tense slightly. Rey let out a nervous laugh, “Thank you.” The man looked between them both, his eyes dropping to the lightsabers on Rey’s belt before looking back to them, “I take it you two really aren’t from around here.” 

Rey nodded, “That would be correct, we don’t even know which planet we are on.” 

The man chuckled, “Well I can tell you that, sweetheart.” he said, dipping down and taking Rey’s hand in his own, Ben wanted to slice it off with his saber as he watched the conversation unfold “Welcome to Sorgan.” he pressed a kiss to Rey’s hand. Ben wanted to slap the stupid smile off the man’s face as Rey’s cheeks turned pink. “I am Nicholas Tenner, may I ask for your names?”

“I’m Rey, this is Ben.” Rey responded, a kind smile across her face as she shook hands with Nicholas. Ben sent a glare in Nicholas’ direction, his charm and smile were making the anger within him rise quickly as he clenched his fist around the staff. The man was his height, matching him in strength with his strong muscles that pressed up against the tight tunic he was wearing. Ben contemplated squaring up to the man, taking out his saber and challenging him to a duel immediately. But with his leg, as injured as it was, Ben knew he would be taken a risk. Although he could always just use the force to throw him against a tree or break a few bones…

“We can offer you a ride if you want, our village is a few miles from here. We have plenty of food and can offer your medical assistance with your injuries.” he offered. Ben opened his mouth to decline and insist that they were fine, he didn’t want to go anywhere with this man. 

“That would be lovely.” Rey said, intercepting Ben before he could tell this Nicholas where he could shove his-

“Wonderful!” said Nicholas, “And of course there is plenty of room for you both, there happens to be some space in my hut.” he winked at Rey and Ben decided then that he was going to murder the man. He felt Rey rest a hand on his arm, her gaze avoiding his own as she blushed furiously at Nicholas’ comment. Ben reached down and took her hand, stepping forward protectively, “Thank you, but we do prefer to stick together.” he said firmly, pleased to discover that he was a couple of inches taller than the man, meaning he could look down on him and feel slightly more intimidating. 

Nicholas looked him up and down, raising his eyebrows, “Good to know, like I said, there is plenty of room in the village.” He reached up, brushing his shoulder-length blonde hair away from his face as he tried to avoid Ben’s piercing glare. He was one of these ‘pretty boys’ as his father would say. Ben watched with a smirk as Nicholas gulped nervously, the charming saviour wearing away before Ben’s very eyes. Next to him, Rey cleared her throat, yanking him down so she could talk in a hushed tone that was for his ears only, “If you are quite finished, can we just accept their help.” she said fiercely. Ben nodded and Rey let go of his hand. He had to refrain from crying out at the loss of contact, he felt a pang of jealousy as she moved to Nicholas, asking him to lead the way. 

It was such a foreign feeling, one that made him feel like someone was stabbing him right in the chest. What hurt most, was that Nicholas was doing nothing wrong. Rey was a very beautiful young woman, he had known that for a while now, it was no wonder that she had caught Nicholas’ attention. Nicholas, his charming nature, smiles and sweet words. It made Ben feel ill, he wanted to take Rey into his arms and tell everyone to back away from her. But… Rey wasn’t his. Maybe she preferred someone as dashing as Nicholas over him. 

Ben shook his head, he was getting ahead of himself, overthinking things. Maybe Nicholas was just being friendly… 

Ben watched as he helped Rey into the groups’ cart, taking her hand as she hoisted herself up before he slid in next to her. Nope. This man was definitely going to meet Ben’s saber the way he was going. 

The majority of the journey, Ben sat with clenched fists glaring daggers at Nicholas who was talking animatedly with Rey. His gaze was constantly flicking towards her. Rey was being incredibly polite, asking questions about the planet and the village. Several times, Nicholas attempted to casually rest a hand on her leg or move his shoulder so it rested against her own. Each time, Rey moved away, putting distance between them as she bit her lip nervously and fidgeted with the strap on her bag. He could feel how uncomfortable she felt moving through the bond as she reached out to him, searching for him. Ben responded immediately, sending her waves of comfort that made her visibility relax once Nicholas had gotten the idea and put a stop to his advances. 

Ben shot him a glare, even if the man wasn’t touching Rey, he still wanted to punch him across the face.

The journey was shorter than Ben had expected, had Rey and Ben not been attacked by the wild beast, they probably would have stumbled upon it after walking for a while longer. From what Ben could see, many of the villagers were fishermen. As Ben and Rey climbed out of the cart (Ben made sure that it was he who helped her down this time) they looked around the village with interest. From what they could see, there was very limited technology, it was like this village had never come into contact with the war or the modern society of the galaxy. The name Sorgan rang a bell but he couldn’t quite place where he had heard it before, maybe he had read it in a book once or overheard it during a conversation, it definitely wasn’t a core world or seen as important by the senate. 

Upon arrival, Rey and Ben were led into the villages’ medical house where a group of women treated their wounds. Despite their lack of modern medical supplies, Ben found that he was treated very well. An older woman, most likely the same age as his mother, gently cleaned his leg before applying a variety of ointments that he couldn’t recognise. At first, he protested, he didn’t trust that he wasn’t being poisoned or tricked. But when Rey reached out, gently brushing her fingers against his own in a way that made his heart leap and his skin shiver, he calmed down and allowed the woman to continue. She dressed the wound and after a while, Ben felt it slowly start to feel a little better, healing far quicker than he had expected. When he stood, he had moved past the staff Rey had made him, walking on his bad leg. He wasn’t as quick on his feet as he usually was, but it was certainly an improvement and the ache didn’t feel so bad anymore. 

Rey seemed to be feeling better too. As the women redressed her wound, it had fortunately not reopened during the incident with the beast. She chatted with the women as they worked, explaining the crash and how they had camped in a cave overnight. Ben watched Rey, she seemed so comfortable, so at ease. He wasn’t sure about this place and yet seemed so relaxed and eager to learn more about the village and the planet. 

Once the women had decided that Rey and Ben’s injuries didn’t post a risk to their overall health, they were led to an empty hut in the village. Rey thanked them politely as the pair stepped inside, the woman leaving to give them some space to settle in. Ben walked around the small but homely space. Being one of the empty huts, it was sparsely decorated with only some simple furniture. There were a few chairs and a table in the front of the room and behind a pair of deep blue curtains was a double bed with a dresser and basin next to it. 

Rey dropped her bag onto the bed as the pair stood awkwardly next to it. “So, how will this work?” Rey asked, gesturing to the bed. 

Ben shrugged, “Well I guess when the time comes, I’ll take the floor and you can take the bed.” he said casually. He thought about sharing a bed with Rey, it was certainly inappropriate, their relationship was strictly platonic and despite how quickly he was falling for her, Ben knew it was a step they really shouldn’t take. 

“T-thank you.” Rey said slowly, stuttering slightly as she avoided his gaze. 

With a tired sigh, Ben moved back through the curtains and took a seat at the table. Rey followed shortly, sitting opposite him. “I think we need to talk about what our next courses of action are. Nicholas said something about a common house nearby that pilots from off-world occasionally visit if we are lucky we may be able to find a way off-world and to the nearest planet with a starport.” Rey explained.

Ben nodded in agreement, “The sooner we get off this planet the better, at least that way we can go our separate ways.” 

“What are you talking about?” Rey asked, her face falling as she spoke. 

“Well aren’t you going back to the Resistance after all this?”

“Yes but-”

“And we both know there isn’t a place for me there.” Ben stated, their argument from the night before coming to mind. Since the beginning, Ben had only wanted to get Rey back to the Resistance safely, that wasn’t going to stop now. He didn’t care what happened to him, after everything he had put Rey through, getting her home safely was the least he could do. 

“You won’t even consider it, will you?” Rey said with a sigh. 

Ben knew he couldn’t go to the Resistance, he didn’t belong there, this was the best course of action he could take. For once, he needed to do the right thing instead of the easiest. “I can’t, besides, the Resistance doesn’t need me, I’d probably end up dead the moment I arrived on their doorstep.” Ben clenched his fists, trying his best to hold back his anger as he spoke.

“That’s not true!” Rey countered, “There are people who need you Ben, how can I make you understand that?” 

“Alright then, who needs me Rey? The man who eradicated the Jedi, murdered his own father and was the leader of a violent and oppressive regime.” He demanded, on the verge of shouting at her again. 

Her eyes were sad and hurt as his words sunk in, she looked down into her lap when she spoke, “I need you.” she said, her voice barely more than a whisper. Ben felt his anger melt away instantly, the weight of her words crashing down on him as she slowly looked up and met his gaze. The room was silent, as he took a deep breath, trying to comprehend her words. 

Before he could form a response, there was a knock at the door and Rey got to her feet to answer it. When she opened the door, a young girl who could be no older than ten stepped inside, a bright smile across her face. “Hello, I hope you have been able to settle in comfortably.” she said, “I have come to invite you both to our evening dinner, the whole village puts on their best clothes and eat together around the fire.” 

Ben hesitated, he really wasn’t in the mood for a celebration of any kind, “I don’t think-”

“That sounds great!” Rey cut across him, “We’d both love to come, I’m afraid we don’t have very nice clothes though.” 

“That’s okay, we can help you with that. If you come with me I’m sure we can find something for you. And don’t worry mister, I’m sure Nicholas will be able to find you something.” said the girl, her excitement evident. Ben clenched his fist under the table at the mention of Nicholas, he really needed to calm down about that. Ben watched as Rey was dragged from the room, the little girl tugging impatiently on her hand as Rey turned to offer him a small smile before leaving the hut, the door closing behind her and leaving Ben alone this the mess that was his thoughts.


	6. dancing fires

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Slowly, he pulled away from Rey, as he looked at her in awe. “You look- you look beautiful.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for taking so long! I have been working on several fics for exchanges atm! I promise I am not abandoning this fic, there is more to come I promise!

Rey was led to another hut in the village. Inside, a number of women were seated amongst fabrics of a whole array of colours. Dresses were hung around the room, all incredible colourful with a variety of patterns and designs. They certainly weren’t anything like the traditional gowns she had seen on the holo-net. These dresses were far more decorative and Rey found them to be just as beautiful as she looked around the room in awe. After a few moments of looking around the room, Rey found herself being led behind a set of curtains to reveal a steel tub filled with water and bubbles. She was given privacy to wash after one of the women measured her with tape before heading back behind the curtain. As Rey climbed into the tub, she felt the immense relief of being able to finally wash again as the water soothed her aching muscles. She scrubbed off all the grime from the last few days, washing every inch of her body as she took advantage of having access to so much water.

Once she was done, she climbed out and slipped on her underwear before wrapping a robe around her body that the women had left out for her. When she stepped through the curtains, the four women including the little girl got to work. Fabrics of all different colours were tossed around the room, with the little girl, who Rey learnt was Marie-Luchia, instructing Rey to take a seat at the small vanity. 

The four women sat in a circle, passing around fabrics and needles as they focused on their work, moving with quick and skilled fingers that left Rey in awe. The women chatted amongst themselves, humming quiet tunes as they worked in a perfect team, helping each other. Marie-Luchia came to stand behind her, “Where do you come from, Rey?” she asked as she slowly began to undo Rey’s three buns. 

“Oh, I come from a desert, it’s called Jakku.” Rey answered. 

“That sounds very far away,” said Marie-Luchia, “Do you miss your home?” 

Rey shook her head, “Not really, it wasn’t a very nice place. I was travelling when my ship crash-landed here, travelling back to my family.” she said with a small smile, her mind drifting to the Resistance base and memories of evenings spent with Poe, Finn and Rose, laughing and telling stories. She felt a pang of sadness at the thought, it felt like forever since she had last seen them, she missed them so much. 

“Is the mister your family?”

Rey chuckled, “You mean Ben?” Marie-Luchia nodded in response and Rey felt her heart pounding as she considered her words. Ben wasn’t her family, they were nothing more than allies. Although deep down, Rey realised that she wanted Ben to be her family, the feelings she felt growing between them were evidence. She felt herself blushing and looked at her appearance in the mirror to see a nervous girl with a small smile across her face. Rey shook her head, “No, he isn’t my family, he’s a friend. We’re soldiers.” she lied, it was technically true, she wasn’t too keen on going into her and Ben’s very complicated positions. A smile broke across Marie-Luchia’s face, “You’re a real soldier? Wow, that’s so cool! My Mama met a soldier when she was my age, she came with a strange helmeted man and a little green baby.” the girl explained, taking a brush to Rey’s knotted hair. 

Rey chuckled, “A little green baby?” she asked curiously. 

Marie-Luchia nodded, “He was very friendly apparently.” she said seriously, her fingers moving to make braids in Rey’s hair, “And the soldier was so strong, she was brave and clever, I hope to be like her one day.” 

Rey smiled at the girl in the mirror, “I’m sure you will be.” 

Rey listened as she dived into the tale of the soldier, the helmeted man and the strange green child. It was an interesting story, the group helping to defend the village against attackers from the forest, training them in combat and strategy. As Marie-Luchia chatted excitedly, Rey’s mind drifted to Ben. He had been tense ever since the villagers had found them in the forest. His anger was constant across the bond as she had spoken to Nicholas, it spiked each time Nicholas had touched her or called her sweetheart. The man’s advances had made Rey feel uncomfortable, she barely knew the man and he was making a move on her, she didn’t understand the attraction. In response to her mild distress, Ben had sent calming waves through the bond, assuring her that she was safe and not alone. It made Rey feel quite anxious, made her feel once again that there was something more between them.

Once Marie-Luchia had finished with her hair, an assortment of braids tied up into a bun at the base of her neck, the dress was ready. The four women each helped Rey put it on, tightening ribbons and helping with the layers of the skirt. “You look absolutely beautiful my dear.” said one of the women, Saria. The other women who introduced themselves as Lilia, Rachelle and Aaliyah agreed, telling Rey how wonderful she looked as she waited anxiously to see herself in the mirror. 

Rachelle tied the last ribbon before stepping back, “There, perfect!” she said with a bright smile as Saria brought the mirror over. Rey took a deep breath before slowly turning around. When she saw herself in the mirror, she gasped, covering her mouth as her eyes widened. She took in her appearance in shock, this dress was by far the nicest thing she had ever worn. Her hair was tied up and the light makeup Marie-Luchia had done looked lovely. She felt tears prick the corners of her eyes as she pulled her hands away from her face, for the first time, Rey felt beautiful. “Oh, don’t cry my dear.” said Aaliyah, handing Rey a handkerchief, “You look radiant.”

Rey smiled, “Thank you.” she said, “Thank you all so much, I don’t think I have ever worn something as lovely as this.” 

“It suits you.” said Marie-Luchia, “You look just like a princess.”

As Rey looked in the mirror, she found herself believing the young girl, she did look like a princess. The soldier was gone and yet she had never felt more like herself, for once she didn’t feel like just a scavenger from Jakku, she felt empowered and strong. It was an odd thing, for something she would presume to be weak due to how feminine it was, she knew many people would say so. They had no idea because this dress felt like armour. 

“The dress suits you so well.”

“Your hair is perfect.”

“You really are a princess.”

“Ben is going to be speechless when he sees you!” said Marie-Luchia.

Rey turned and looked down at her, “I’m sure he’ll be fine, as I said, we are just friends.”

Aaliyah chuckled, “We all saw how protective he was of you, especially around Nicholas. I’ve seen a lot in my time dear, but I have never seen someone as head over heels as that boy.” Rey blushed at the older woman’s words, her heart skipping a beat as she considered them. If Ben were to express such feelings, would she turn him away? 

_ No.  _ Rey thought with a small smile quirking her lips,  _ I don’t think I would.  _

_ \--- _

Ben sat on one of the tree stumps around the fire, watching as the villagers gathered around and the children rushed off to play. He felt very out of his comfort zone, surrounded by so many people he didn’t know and could most certainly not trust, especially that Nicholas. The man had knocked on the door of the hut shortly after Rey had been dragged away by the little girl, there was a charming smile across the man’s face as he offered Ben some clean clothes. Reluctantly, Ben had taken them and used the basin in the hut to rid himself of the dirt and dried blood that clung to his skin after the events of the past few days. 

The tunic fit him well enough, but the trousers barely reached his ankles, he felt quite foolish dressed like one of the common village folk. A few days prior he had been the most powerful man in the galaxy. His appearance had been important to him, it demanded authority and showed his strength as a leader. If the First Order saw him now, he would be a laughing stock. 

He watched the villagers chatting to each other, some exchanging gifts as the food was laid out around the fire. There was a variety of fruits and fish, all of which made Ben’s mouth water after days living purely on ration bars. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad after all…

Suddenly, the group fell silent, all turning to look at something just behind Ben. He raised a curious eyebrow before slowly turning in his seat, his jaw dropped when he saw  _ who  _ everyone had been looking at. Ben shot to his feet as Rey approached the fire, smiling timidly as she walked. Her dress was an array of beautiful colours, the layers of her skirt blowing in the calm breeze of the evening. Her hair was a number of braids all tied up and pinned to her head, ones that reminded him of his mother. He could still remember the movements his mother had taught him as a child. When her eyes met his, he felt his cheeks turn pink and quickly diverted his gaze to the hanging tapestry situated on the other side of the fire. 

“Don’t be a stranger, Ben.” said Rey, coming to take a seat next to him. Ben followed suit, sitting back down on his tree stump just as Nicholas sauntered over to sit on Rey’s other side. He looked over at the pair as Rey smoothed out her skirt with shaking hands. Part of him wanted to reach out and place his hand over her own, tell her how beautiful she looked because, stars, she was the most beautiful woman in the galaxy. But from the way Nicholas was already complimenting her attire, he decided against it, instead opting to stare into the flames as he felt a sick feeling rise in his stomach. 

After everyone had settled, a man stepped forward, raising his hands to silence the group. “Welcome!” He said, his voice loud and booming, “Welcome my children! Tonight we celebrate the stories of our people, of our history and way of life and we welcome two travellers to dine with us tonight, please join me in welcoming Rey and Ben!”

The group turned to Rey and Ben, offering kind words and shaking their hands. Ben nodded politely in response and Rey with an enthusiastic smile. “That is Master Soran, the wise leader of the village elected by everyone here,” Nicholas explained. 

“Even the children?” Ben asked sarcastically.

Nicholas nodded in response, “Yes, they tend to control the outcome.” Rey let out an awww whilst Ben rolled his eyes. How ridiculous to have a group of children who weren’t old enough to form valid opinions to decide who leads the village. 

“Let the feast, begin!” said Soran. 

Ben and Rey were immediately offered more food than they could possibly eat, Rey happily dug in, trying everything in sight. Ben ended up giving her most of his, Rey was always her happiest when eating, it made him smile to see her so eager to try new things. Each time he handed her fruit or something sweet she hadn’t yet tried, she looked at him with what he could only describe as compassion, something that made Ben’s heart pound furiously against his chest. He was caring for her just as he had on his flagship, he hoped she would always let him do this, show her how much he cared about her and her wellbeing. Ben would starve before he saw Rey go hungry again. 

“Thank you.” she whispered as he handed her a piece of pastry. 

He looked up at her, nodding in response. As their eyes met, Rey leaned slightly closer to him, just as they had in his quarters before all hell had broken loose. It felt like the air had been sucked out of him, the people around them melted away and it was just them, looking at each other with unspoken feelings hanging between them. There was so much he wanted to tell her, so much he wanted to profess. And yet, it was like someone had stolen his words, his ability to speak. 

Ben opened his mouth to respond, but was cut off by music beginning, the pair turned to see the villagers get to their feet, pairing up to dance around the flames. The pair watched with interest, the colours of the women’s skirts having a mind of their own as the men spun them around. Next to them, Nicholas got to his feet, offering his hand to Rey, “Will you join me, Rey?” 

Rey glanced at Ben, he gave her a small smile and she got to her feet, taking Nicholas’ hand as Ben felt a horrible pain in his chest. Nicholas led Rey towards the fire, placing one hand on her waist whilst holding onto her hand with the other, Rey’s hand resting on his shoulder. The fast, joyous music began and Ben watched as Nicholas led Rey around the fire, moving through the various steps as Rey smiled brightly. He could hear laughter as she moved in Nicholas’ arms, her bare feet brushing against the dusty dirt ground. Ben loved seeing her so carefree, so relaxed and happy as she danced. And yet, with each turn and each lift, it made Ben feel sick with jealousy. 

“Ah, young love, how wonderful yet plaintive it can be.” Ben turned to see Soran coming to stand next to him, scratching his beard in thought, “Walk with me, boy, you look as though you could do without watching this dance.”

Ben slowly got to his feet to walk alongside the man, his eyes still on Nicholas and Rey as they moved close together around the fire. His gaze dropped to his feet and he contemplated running away. He felt Soran rest an arm around Ben’s shoulder, moving him in the direction of the tapestry. “The children made this, took them weeks,” he explained, tracing the patterns with his fingers. “They brought it out today to honour you and Rey as our guests.”

Ben let out a sigh, “I have done nothing in my life worth honouring.” he said solemnly. 

Soran shook his head, “I can already see that what you say is not true.” he said firmly, “I watched you throughout the meal, how you offered all your food to Rey, always putting her before yourself.”

“It’s nothing, she’s Rey, I care about her. But what does that mean in the grand scheme of things? It is a small gesture, meaningless to most people.” 

“But not to Rey.” Soran stated, “It seems as though you don’t know what is worthy of honour.”

Ben shrugged, looking at Rey as Nicholas spun her around, the colours of the fire reflecting off her face. “I know that I don’t deserve her.”

Soran sighed, “Look here.” he said gesturing to the edge of the tapestry, “ A single thread in a tapestry, though its colour brightly shines, can never see its purpose, in the pattern of the grand design.” Taking Ben by the shoulders, he turned him back to the dance as the little girl, Marie-Luchia ran over to them. 

“Dance with me, Ben!” she said excitedly.

As if sensing his hesitation, Soran spoke again, “No life can escape being blown about, by the winds of change and chance. And though you never know all the steps, you must learn to join the dance.” 

Marie-Luchia tugged on his hand and Ben found himself being pulled towards the fire and into the dance. Marie-Luchia pulled him through the crowd, tugging on his hand to walk faster. He followed as quickly as he could on his bad leg, watching as she led them towards where Rey was dancing with Nicholas. 

“Go away, Nicholas.” Marie-Luchia demanded, pulling on Rey’s hand and dragging her towards Ben. She joined their hands together, Ben felt his heart race at the feeling of Rey’s skin against his own, their hands linking together, “Dance together, you both know the truth.” 

Rey and Ben looked up at each other, Marie-Luchia’s riddle hanging between them, waiting to be solved as she ran off to dance. Taking a deep breath, Ben solved it, pulling Rey close as he hesitantly rested his hand on Rey’s waist. Rey let out a quiet gasp at the contact as Ben moved his hand to span across her back. The music slowed as Rey moved closer so their chests were pressed against each other. With shy and cautious steps, they slowly began to move around the fire, their feet with minds of their own as they moved in their own dance. 

No words needed to be spoken, they both knew what it meant now, understood the depth of the feelings that hung between them, hidden away although screaming to be set free. 

Leaning forward, Rey rested her head against his chest, he was certain she could hear how his nervous heart pounded against his chest. As if sensing his nervousness, Rey reached up and rested her hand against his cheek, looking up at him with emotional eyes, “Don’t be afraid, I feel it too.” she said. Ben felt his breath catch in his throat as Rey stood up on her tip-toes and pressed a kiss to his cheek. 

And just like that, everything became clear. Through the bond, he felt her feelings drift towards him, filling the void that had been left in his heart for so long. They entwined their fingers, holding each other close as the music guided him. The memory of Rey’s lips burned against his cheek, sending what he could only describe as electricity flowing through his veins. Over Rey’s shoulder, he spotted Soran watching with a smile across his face, Ben gave him a small and thankful one in return. 

They danced for what felt like hours, moving together under the stairs as the world around them melted away. It was only that the musicians finished their final song that Ben realised they were the only ones around the fire. Slowly, he pulled away from Rey, as he looked at her in awe. “You look- you look beautiful.” he said nervously. Rey smiled in return, blushing as she moved to brush a strand fallen from her updo behind her ear. He stopped her, taking hold of her hand before reaching out and tucking the hair away from her face himself. His hand lingered next to where he had tucked the strand behind her ear, his fingers brushing against the skin of her cheek, moving along her jaw until he reached her chin. Gently, he lifted it, towering over her as he slowly leaned closer to her, his gaze on her lips before his eyes closed and he went to-

“Ben! Rey!” 

The pair jumped away from each other immediately, breathless as they watched Nicholas move towards them. Ben contemplated reaching for his saber and slicing the bastard down just so he could have one moment with Rey. “Enjoy the festivities?” Nicolas asked, winking at Rey. Ben seriously wanted to tell this man to kindly, fuck off. He refrained from doing so, but only because there were still a few children around despite the fact it was surely past their bedtime by now.

“Yes, thank you, Nicholas.” Rey said politely, “I don’t know how we could possibly repay you for your kindness and hospitality.” Ben wanted to question why Rey was being so… reasonable, until he felt waves of her irritation with the man standing before them. 

“No problem, Rey. How about we go have some drinks, continue the celebrations?” he asked with a sly and roguish smile. 

Before Ben could tell the man to piss off, Rey spoke up, “We are both pretty tired, all the travelling and dancing has worn us out.” 

She didn’t give Nicholas a chance to respond, grabbing Ben’s hand and stomping away, dragging him along with her. She led him in the direction of their hut, slipping into the shadows between the dark trees. They reached a clearing, the moonlight shining down on them, “Rey, are you okay? What’s wrong?” Ben asked, taken aback by her impulsive and sudden behaviour. 

Rey came to halt, pausing before turning to him, “We are  _ not  _ going to be interrupted again.” she said firmly, moving closer to him so they were a breathtaking mere inches apart. 

Ben nodded slowly, “Okay.” he found himself saying, preparing himself for what was to come. His gaze flickered to the commotion in the village, people moving around only a few feet from them as they retired to bed. He felt Rey’s hand on his chin, she turned him to face her and his breath caught in his throat as she moved up onto her tiptoes. Leaning down, he helped her to close the space between them.

Rey’s lips pressed gently against his own, timid and shy as she cupped his jaw. After only a few moments, she pulled away, looking at him with a nervous expression as she waited for his reaction. His answer was instantaneous, without hesitation, he leaned in to capture her lips again, kissing her, his heart leaping in his chest. Here, now, in this blessed moment, they had found peace and Ben was certain that this was the greatest moment of his life. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you noticed the Prince of Egypt references, we can be best friends

**Author's Note:**

> If you enjoyed please consider leaving comments and kudos!  
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